My brain has been feeling especially full lately. Of everything. Part of the reason I haven't been blogging much. When I am frustrated, I get more sarcastic than usual. A little sarcasm is funny, but a lot is unbecoming and borders on bitter. I wanted to climb back into bed this morning and "sleep it off", but knew I shouldn't, and we are getting HUGE amounts of rain, which is melting snow, and I had to stay up and listen for the pump in our sump crock. I cleaned up a flooded basement 5 months after we were married, and don't care to do it again, thankyou.
So that has been my constant prayer, Lord please take this anxiety, Lord help me cast this (fill in the blank) anxiety on you. And its not easy. I keep things so tightly grasped, I have a hard time letting go. Because I should be able to fix them.
I have it in my head that I should be able to fix things, and have not been trusting God that He can do it. I hate bothering people for things, so guess Who else I've been trying not to bother?
Yep. One morning last week I was checking my e-mail, and can I tell you how much I hate reading headlines? They make my head spin. "Please Lord, this is so depressing, could you give me a verse that will lift my spirits? After reading these and thinking of everything that needs to be done, and how far behind I am in general, I feel like I'm drowning". Before I could even finish my plea, He answered. 1 Peter 5:7. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.
Not some anxieties, not these few anxieties, but ALL.
So that has been my constant prayer, Lord please take this anxiety, Lord help me cast this (fill in the blank) anxiety on you. And its not easy. I keep things so tightly grasped, I have a hard time letting go. Because I should be able to fix them. Would you believe one of my anxieties these last few weeks has been what to plant in the garden? I'm not a fan of hybrid plants, I'm not a fan of things being genetically altered, but last years complete and utter failure of a garden has made me a bit fearful of trying heirlooms. I mentioned this to the Lord and He mentioned right back that HE is the one who causes things to grow or not grow. HE is the one who can make those heirloom varieties grow and flourish, when hybrids are being touted as the best for abundant yields. So I am working hard at uncurling my fingers, and letting go, trusting that God cares about my plant choices, and how my garden grows.
I am still feeling like my brain is on overload, I'm still thinking about starting my day with a good cry, simply because it seems like a good idea, even though I'm not a cryer. But I am also thinking about the fact that He cares for me, and I don't have to fix it myself.
5 comments:
Such a good reminder for all of us, Bonnie! He does care- for every little detail!
That is a lesson I need to relearn daily....and even many times a day. Hoping the Lord gives you peace about all your worries. And no~ a garden is not so unbelievable a stressor. No thought, worry, or fear is too small for our great God.
Hoping you are washed in joy and peace this week.
He knows the very number of hairs on our head, friend!!! I totally understand that semi-drowning feeling! I think mine usually is centered around schoolin' the kids though!
I prayed for you that you get some much needed rest and that the Lord comforts you!
Thank you for the Scripture verse!
I answer your question about my kids over at my blog. :)
If only I could simply 'turn off' my thoughts and sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow like my husband does -- but I'm a worrier, so lie awake planning and stressing about things I can't do anything about. I hope to learn how to slow down and compartmentalise!
YES! That's all I have to say about that!
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